Sunday, October 25, 2009

Well..It's Something

I'm not quite sure what to say exactly. You know things aren't how they use to be when your ex boyfriend texts your best friend more then you. The ive been busy line didn't mask that.
Not angry, disappointed a little bit, sad yes.
I just miss him. His silly quirks and how I use to tell him everything. I still want to, but I suppose the time for that has past hmm?
I'll be waiting for the moment where maybe he turns around and starts things first. Decides he misses me enough to call or try to see me when he's in town. Hey, i'm an optimistic dreaming girl lol. I need to stop that.
So..two guys chasing me pretty stubbornly. Hell no i refuse to get into a serious relationship. Yes yes i'm too stubborn I know. There's no point really anyways, i'll be gone next year.
Still they pursue..i mean honestly i'm not that bloody interesting you prats.
I think i'm becoming sort of bitchy lol..oopsie.
Good news, ive been picking up extra shifts here and there when the other hostesses don't want to work. So when I do get that paycheck the flight to Toronto and getting my ipod fixed shouldn't be that big of a problem. Everything else though put away in savings for my car!
Home is eh.
That simple.
Yet actually sort of complicated..
Been tutoring Colleen a lot giving her assignments. I won't let her fall behind, she's my sister after all..
Didn't have a nightmare last night..did the night before lol. Was a little bit frightened though..i'm such a scardy cat ^ ^
Bleh. Dropped my text again. I surrender. I give up. MKM i'm waving my white flag.
You win.

Monday, October 19, 2009

The Nerve.

I can not believe the nerve of him! (now I sound quite like Hermione...that would send somebody into laughter)
I've only known you for a little bit, i am NOT dating you and you have the nerve to ask me what three words i would say to you if i woke up naked next to you?
I'll tell you what I would say: Oh hell no!
Kelsea and a few others think me dating would be good for me..I don't want to and honestly its just a disastor.
I still like Matt.
Kevin from work reminds me of Sirius Black in his pure playboy glory which sort of makes me laugh since Kevin has glasses and looks NOTHING like Sirius Black. Not that I would date him if he did look like Sirius Black..argh! So irritating!
All this getting hit on only makes me compare them to Matt..its all pretty darn sad..
Maybe its all in vain, maybe matt has moved on..who can know? Nobody.
Ahs..oh to bed.
Positive: Big Bang Theory was epic like love love
Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom
Man made up a story, said that I should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight
But I don't want the next best thing
So I sing, I hold my head down
And I break these walls 'round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love
But the story needs some mending
And a better happy ending'
Cause I don't want the next best thing
No, no, I don't want the next best thing

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Open Roads and Work

Went on my first nonfamily road trip! was pretty darn short but had LOTS of driving. Both ways..we drove a total of 12 hours pretty much. It wasn't bad at all though, I mad a mix CD and she had some cool mix CD's from a guy friend that were fun.
Friday started out normal, stuffy and humid..gross..Went to my math class when it started storming like the day after tomorrow. job wooot!
Then around 4 Jess and me set out to Waco..gorgeous campus...Baylor is sooooo gorgeous! But then again Waco is not exactly the best area. Jess's GPS TomTom tried to lead us down this really creepy road at night...the type you see girls take in horror movies so we picked an alternative route after much protest and yelling from TomTom.
Picked up Dirin then left to Austin, another city to check off my list! Went straight to the soccer game then back to Jess's brother and sister in-laws apartment. After watching Jess and Dirin be silly trying to chug gatorade in a contest (which ended of course spewing it out their noses in the sink..) played the wii for the first time. I suck at golf lol..then again we were all pretty lame. Baseball and bowling was fun! Crashed around threeish then woke back up around 7 annnd out the door again!
Pretty much headed back only i started snapping random pictures along the way. Which is NOT easy when somebody is driving 80 miles per hour *ahem ahem*
All and all it was pretty fun, a lot of talking to last through the long drive. Still funny how Jess and my recent ex are both named Matt. Of course the convo of asking if I was going to date and so on came up.
Now that I have a second job..and i'm trying to start learning french on the side, i'm officially in SIFE, and home plus school..not much time anyways. It seems pointless to me for many different reasons. One being really busy. Two i'm leaving next year anyways and it just seems lame..I still do care about Matt even if him caring is fading or whatever the heck he's feeling. Still likes me? Great. Fading? Lets hope for next year.
Simple as that.
Mmm....not much else to do. Did studying during to download music!

I’ve been losing sleep for days
You’ve been searching through the deserts and the caves
Your postcards hit me in waves
Sadly stinging me with songs from yesterday
Love such as it ends
Breaking the hearts that wouldn’t bend
Closes the doors you used to listen through
Love such as it ends
Into the flames we’ll start again

<3 Mia

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Such as it Ends

It's one of those darn days..the wind blows outside, the silence reminds you of winter and the absence of it all. So many things in caios right now..its absolutely insane. I can't sleep..i'm not sure why, i just can't. My mind never sleeps, it just keeps going and going as if determined to never give me a moments peace. So why not be productive?
Class in two hours..I would love to just fall asleep outside on the grass and let the wind gently blow around me the sun shinining down..I'm honestly starting to live and breathe music. Seldom do I want to put my ipod down, even when I do the lyrics dance around my head until i'm humming it. Maybe i've finally gone insane..^^
Maybe me being here this year is what's best. Dealing with everything on my own is what needed to be done. It seems that the people who use to need me have created this new life, and sometimes you just have to let go.
Not everything is like fairy tales, that is commonly know. Yet we still believe in the happy endings movies bring, the famous scenes where the girl leaves hoping the boy will chase after her..and he does. It's funny, and even as I write this I stay hopeful because I'll always have those optimistic beliefs. Though now I take it in a dose and the words of Evan drift back. How we view the world so differently, him as he claims not pessimisticly but just with logic. Open my eyes more, take a deep breath and try to keep the logic.
I don't regret how I view it, I wish everything that's happening to me wasn''s so bloody hard sometimes but i'm not going to write some sob story.
Look around and see what you have, and just appreciate that. The ones that fight, that come back, that are always there when you turn around..Keep them.
Sometimes its almost easy to settle for second best, to trick yourself into thinking your happy because its the easist road to take. No way in heck i'm doing that. Ive been on the long road for a while anyways, whats a bit more fighting?

Lost in a nightmare
But I'm here, and suddenly it's so clear
The struggle through the long years
It taught me to outrun my fears
Everything worth having, oh
Comes with trials worth withstanding

Sunday, October 4, 2009

So many things can be said about love. It's unpredictable that we all know. What we don't always remember is that its just as easily to fall out of love as in love. We take it for granted, or maybe we just put too much faith into it.
Either way once you fall, its hard and cold. You go into either depression or survival mode, all depends on who you are and how you handle things.
One of the most heart wrenching moments comes when the person you were once with finds someone else. Even if its not serious, the idea of being replaced twists your stomach until you regret eating anything at all in the last twenty four hours.
Ive dated many types of guys, i'm sure any of my friends would love to back that up and possibly tell stories. In middle school I jumped around never using the word no giving everyone a chance, in high school i became more selective.
My weakness has never been the jocks are any of those's always been the dorky ones.
The ones that hold logic quite dearly, that causes me sometimes to want to rip my hair out.
Though its one of the things I adored about him, shaking my head it became an amusement. A quirk.
One friend I guess never saw that, and thinks its best for me to move just forget.
Really..its what I feel. I listen especially to what my twin thinks and to certain others but when it comes down to it..they all know I've been super stubborn about this one.
It's a little scary now...having someone who speaks the truth outright. Tells you straight up that it all depends on chance. Chances are yes but it all depends.
Honestly its the truth though. If we meet someone in between one can hope it won't last and that we finally will find ourselves back to square one. Until that..I know its going to be a battle..but really..if Love wasn't a Battlefield that song certainly wouldn't have been so popular ^ ^
So Night to my peoples I have an essay that is waiting to be written..and just won't write itself. *SIGH*

Do you remember when we didn't care
We were just two kids that took the moment when it was there
Do you remember you at all
Another heart calls


Went to Clear Lake's Homecoming since Kelsea still goes there :] All and was pretty awesome. I got to eat out at the Flying Dutchman, Kelseas mum payed for both of our dinners which was verrrry sweet of her. Kelsea and me messed around on her macs photobooth at her mums till it was about time to go.
Of course once we all graduate they bring in an epic dj that's actually from 95.7 lol wow...Song highlights: Good Girls Go Bad. Sandstorm. All I've Ever Wanted.
Got to see all my lovelies! Some people flipped since they havn't seen me with bangs nor darker her, that was fun. <3 I'm pretty darn excited to see the Fall shows. Dracula soon!
Epic moment of the night: Seeing Rico and Alex Tango by during Shakira lol. As different as they may look they are perfect together.
Had to cheer up bestie during one sad slow song but all I had to mention was do you really want to cry over a song thats about a big green tractor? lol. Thought not.
Then I miss you came on by Blink 182. gee...thanks.
Outfit forecast for twin: Wore my little black dress from homecoming last year..that was actually loose..haha epic. silver prom stilettos, lovely silver and black owl necklace, with a red ribbon in my hair.
Came home to find dad drunk of course ranting about how Colleen being homeschooled and not going to homecoming is my fault. Well..ok. Somebody obviously had way too much vodka. Guess what? I can hear you ranting away in the living room. If i had a door..i'd lock it. For now i'll just thumbtack that sheet tight and keep the tv on and loud. Want to scare me and not take me to school? Bring it. I'll find a bloody way if I have to walk. Sorry buddy, you birthed a siriusly stubborn daughter, and two can play this game. As long as I can laugh and smile, you've lost.
Off to sleep so I can wake up early tomorrow (ok its already nearly one..) and continue to work on and finish my english essay and go to work.
Determined and Fashionable. ^ ^

It seems like everyday,I make mistakes
I just can't get it right,
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today.
So shut up Shut up Shut up
Don't wanna hear it, Get out Get out Get out
Get out of my way, Step up Step up Step up
You'll never stop me, Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Friday, October 2, 2009

Hey Friday

Wow its been forever since i've posted something! Ok, only a few days really..
I just thought i'd take advantage of this moment to write since soon hopefully I shall be busy working :] I'll still write, it shall just be shorter probley.
Job hunt today! Have an interview monday, Cross your fingers for me!
Get to sleep in tomorrow..I could cry i'm so happy..Starting to hate that darn alarm clock.
So..on the remus/eve tango front:
You try to forget the past which dosn't always end so well. Start flirting with we shall say..Amos and your only reminded how different Amos is from Remus. *smacks forehead*
Though to be fair..Amos is a pothead. Not the smartest choice. ^ ^
Now rereading that paragraph sends me into a fit of giggles..
I wander if its my phone..or just people taking breaks inbetween sending texts to me..ha hum..
Ok, i'm out for now <3

Can't read mine, can't read mine
No he can't read my poker face
She's got to love nobody